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KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

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KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby killmaimburn » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:40 am

Played a really odd game last night.

I've got so annoyed with Guard insta winning with lists written by drunk noobs with bad dice, that I decided to create the ultimate guard killing list.
Spent a chunk of saturday making it, set up the tables and got out all the models on the evening...and then with it sat in front of me,it looked totally crap. Lh turned up and I realised it even had 4 fast attack options. So it sucked bad and was out the window.
LH suggested 1750 and that he wouldn't take guard..so I could unwind.

I took
Code: Select all
Hestan MC relic blade,digi,HF  2/3++-190 (sat with rifles)

Space marine captain with relic blade combi melta and bike--175

Command squad--315
1) apothecary
2) Company champion (WS5 pwr wep+Cshield)
3) melta gun thunderhammer storm shield
4) Melta gun lightning claw storm shield
5) gribbly CCW BP.

Troop 1) 3 bikes (1 flamer 1 melta) sarge with combi melta, MM attack bike -190
Troop 2) 3 bikes (1 flamer 1 melta) sarge with combi melta, MM attack bike -190
Troop 3) 3 bikes (1 flamer 1 melta) sarge with combi melta, MM attack bike -190

HF MM tornado-70
HF MM tornado-70
5 scouts camo cloaks sniper rifles heavy bolter  (blasty goodness) sarge has sniper rifle and combi melta.-110
Storm with heavy flamer, scouts with fist 160
Thunderfire cannon. 100

1760

He took
Code: Select all
an CC inquisitor with mystics and ablatives
min maxed stormtroopers 5 man 2 plas or something
min maxed stormtroopers 5 man 2 plas or something
min maxed stormtroopers 5 man 2 melta or something they all used guard codex transports because well..everyone would use guard stuff if they could. (So they were 30 point cheaper mech vets)
6 individual power weapon str 4 5++ int 5 meq killing death cultists.
2 demonhosts,.

Token 2x platoon HQs with 3 flamers
20 man blob squad from the guard codex with commissar of super fearlessness 2 autocannons
20 man blob squad from the guard codex with commissar of super fearlessness 2 autocannons
30 man blob squad from the guard codex with commissar of super fearlessness 3 missile launchers.
(I can't remember if we bat repped but we played a game recently of guard horde vs ork horde..and guard with creed won 10 kills to 1.)
+ 4chimeras
Some roughriders
and a heavy weapons squad of lascannons

1762 (obvious troll is obvious :D)
him"Lascannon - makes a HWT priority 1 - so in my eyes better in blob squads. I don't think they're worth taking at all "
me "Lascannons as heavy platforms can be viable."
Him- "i'm not taking guard".


He gets turn one, he kills my thunderfire 3 bikes.(my tornados are deepstriking, my storm scouts are outflanking)
My turn 1 no where to hide.. not enough range..I run in close turbo boosting.

His turn 2.. he kills troop units 1,2,3 and command squad member 1 (the apothecary.)

My turn 2 Storm scouts come on, storm kills 3 whole guardsmen.. powerfist *stuns* a chimera..start turn 2 being 700 points down already I decide..&%*&* guard. and start my rifle scouts running across the table to smack them in the face (and the techmarine who has lost his gun).
9 oclock. (we're starting a bit later these days becuase LH has commitments, but also because we both rewrote lists and got out lots of bits and bobs for armies.

His turn 3, his assassins kill my techmarine, 2 blob squads and an assasin kill command 3 (thunderhammer)5 (gribbly) and independant charector.

My turn 3 My Tornados turn up..but with everything so centric those large squads and the double mystic obvious..I just decide to deny him his tabling and put them the far side of the table behind some totally obscuring terrain (although he still claims to be able to hit them with 2 modified for wider front arcchimeras ... guard players..tsk tsk. My rifle scouts make it into his HQ and butcher them (hestan does nothing, it is my rifle scouts who take them out).

Went out for a smoking break, we’re talking about vassal, and just as my primary school teaching young neighbour walks out her back door to let out her dog LH exhales and says rather loudly “I’ll even rape you on the internet!!”, I heard her door close, I didn’t see her face.
......
\/
......
Time warp to 10.30

Turn 6 game ends

I still have exactly the same models on the table (minus 2 scouts) as 6 player turns ago… my scout sniper rifles (guardsmen with less attacks and no ld buff)who charged across the table with hestan have killed;
His entire HQ
1 Assassin
A platoon HQ
And are now sat fighting a str8 t7 reknitted demonhost in a uber tarpit of mewling dice.

My lone company champion on bike is sat on a mountain of skulls.. having seen off 2 assassins, 1x21 man blobs squad and got the other giant blob squad down to 5 man.

He wants to get more people in to beat me up..but his giant squads are bubblewrapping me from any further assault units.
My tornadoes are still just sat behind terrain in a corner refusing to let him have a shooting phase..
Lo..and didst the craven crutch leaning guardsman weep, for I iz an ULTRASMURF and this IS SPARTA!!!! AN I used---------TACTICS!!!
He didn’t get to shoot anything, he didn’t get to kill anything, there was much of the universal gesture of the Booyah groinal thrusting.. I taunted him mercilessly as to his inability with 130 attacks to bring down one bicycle and 4 trainee guardsmen.

So although technically,if your going to be a ruleslawyer about it, he tabled me turn 2(and the only thing stopping it being sooner was that he couldn't take orders)..it being a guard list written by a dribbling monkey with terrible dice and no tactics..I won. Because I got to watch him do absolutely nothing with 1700 points for 5 turns/2hours.
I F*)(&£(*$ hate guard- oh yeah but that wasn't guard..or was it...?
Barely even lurking..
ruffian4 wrote:Handy fellow, this kmb...Like Ahriman delving the paths of the webway ...
World of ME First try at Apoc Batrep WHAT/WHO is AOS?
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby Ljundhammer » Mon Feb 14, 2011 10:05 am

Cheezy UltraSmurf bicycles.

40 guardsmen to kill 4 of them.

My cheezy Deamonhosts & CC =][= lord not managing to kill hestan :(

Still, I'm glad that you're not bitter Toby. I have some websites in my favourites that might help you build a good army if you would like some help... I did try to nerf my IG, but unforunately the innate WIN factor of IG overpowers the ass-sucking poverty of the DH codex :(

Still, you did kill a couple of assassins & my =][= lord, so it's not all bad! :)
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby ruffian4 » Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:24 am

Goggles (goggles??? meant to be giggles). 8O

Seems that so much ig blood was spilled, the blue smurfs became red smurfs and that shall be the road to victory as we all know ...
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby Baragash » Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:38 am

What was the terrain layout? Were you playing standard rulebook terrain with a couple of LoS blocking pieces in central areas?

IG are noticeably less :twisted: when proper terrain set up is used.
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby Ljundhammer » Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:50 am

I was rather terrain light TBF...
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby KInG » Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:55 am

wonder how this might have turned out if the game had unlimited turns lol

SM bikers, yeh they are broken...

Ljundhammer wrote:Still, you did kill a couple of assassins & my =][= lord, so it's not all bad! :)

also, it says some thing when all he killed from your list was the DH eliment :D
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby killmaimburn » Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:28 pm

ruffian4 wrote:Seems that so much ig blood was spilled, the blue smurfs became red smurfs and that shall be the road to victory as we all know ...

It was certainly khornes day.. the only things that survived of mine(rifle scouts and champ bike) inflicted something horrendous like 50-60 wounds.The rest of the army had got directions wrong and gone to the pub.

On terrain..LH took advantage of my fragile little brain.. I got some bits and bobs down, and then started writing out bits and bobs and then getting blue tack all over the place..I never actually finished getting out the table, then by the time I'd worked out how to put what where model wise.. he was deployed on a rather bowling ball table (with at least one stack/store box of terrain left to go on) It was all the guardsmans fault.
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ruffian4 wrote:Handy fellow, this kmb...Like Ahriman delving the paths of the webway ...
World of ME First try at Apoc Batrep WHAT/WHO is AOS?
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby Ljundhammer » Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:24 pm

KInG wrote:it says some thing when all he killed from your list was the DH eliment :D


Well, to be fair, turboboosing 4 bikes squads that total about 1200 points of your 1750 army withing 5" of 3 massive blob squads, 3 metric-arseloads of plasma guns & a shed load of chimeras means that the bikes are going to get shot, then charged. Given the pansity of:
1) bikes having next to no attacks; and
2) guardsmen needing 6's to wound & being in all effect immune to leadership
there's only one winner, that's the guy who doesn't care if he looses 3 models a turn (that's the guard player in case you were wondering)

The DH elements died because they are good in combat & needed to be killed, rather than being a massive annoyance that'll drag you down eventually.

That said, given the number of meltaguns that KMB had, I think he was tooling up for a different opponent...
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby KInG » Mon Feb 14, 2011 5:10 pm

Me too. Never gear Ur list to one type of army KMB. Noobish approach. Lol
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby killmaimburn » Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:27 pm

It had 5 super twinlinked fast heavy flamers..and 30 square inch of blast each turn ...
You can't tailor against guard.. I shall just bandwagon with you sl*ts and have counts as guard so I can win some close combats an get access to some hi tech gear (this game is all backwards)
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World of ME First try at Apoc Batrep WHAT/WHO is AOS?
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby KInG » Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:38 pm

Should of DS them speeders and flamed him then. No risk no gain. ;)
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby killmaimburn » Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:47 pm

I did DS them.. but he had 2 mystics...(12points) I've lost 400 points to that stupid thing in tournies before.. Not falling that stupidity again.
Before shooting they would have been shot.. so instead they played hide and seek becuase the game was already over at the start of turn 1.
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World of ME First try at Apoc Batrep WHAT/WHO is AOS?
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby BANE » Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:58 pm

Nige, how can you talk about SM bikers been broken? Your army list selection gits like this " so what's the most broken unit in this book? Ah yes I have found it, I will have three of those, what's next?"
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby killmaimburn » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:32 pm

BANE wrote:Nige, how can you talk about SM bikers been broken?
I think they are being a tad sarcastic, as by turn 2- 997 points of space marine bikes were dead at the hands of units bought for 300 (edit 420 forgot the mandatory super fearless enhancer)and performing a secondary role.
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World of ME First try at Apoc Batrep WHAT/WHO is AOS?
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Re: KMB has a ridiculous game with LH

Postby KInG » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:22 pm

I'm suprised Al didn't recognise sarcasm. Lowest form of witt etc.

As for finding the most effective thing in a list and taking it three times, weren't u gonna do a 3 stormraven lost. And don't u have three tornados, 3 mmelta attack bikes, 3 tactical units and three drop pods in your current list. :D
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