Login
"Yes sir, Jones take point, Andrews . ."
"Sergeant, I want Andrews on point."
"But sir, you know how these things go, nearest dies first and Andrews has the flamer."
"Ah, I see your point sergeant. Carry on"
"Andrews, second rank. Form up and advance"
The squad advanced, shouldering their lasguns and drawing their pistols. The Chaos Marines seemed oblivious to the threat, more concerned with the armour to the west.
"Fire!" screamed Captain Siliboy
Laspistol rounds screamed toward the Chaos Marines. armour tarnished, but the rounds could not fell a single warrior.
"Charge them!" cried the sergeant
"Sergeant, hold up. Is this calibrated in metric or Imperial?"
"What? What the hell, sir? Now they're randomly firing in our general vicinity."
"It's a simple question, but vital to whether we can make the charge! Imperial or Metric. Meters away or feet away. It could make all the difference here!"
"It's meters! Just look for fugs sake, and you would know that! Now we have missed our chance. The traitors are advancing."
Bolt rounds tore into the unit. A soldier suddenly sprung across the captains field of vision. Above the din of the gunfire the words "Look out" could be heard.
"What the hell are you doing man? Get up."
"He's dead, sir. Took a bolt round to the stomach. Emperor knows how he managed to see that and get in the way of it! "
"Well, the Emperor protects - me at least."
"Update from the medicae team, Six men down, all rank and file.The traitorous scum are about to charge us."
"Okay, well, in that case, randomly spray gunfire in their general direction."
"Eh?"
"Don't dally, close your eyes and shoot, dammit!"
"Yes, Sir. Form up, random fire, no specific target."
A few flashes of muzzle fire, but the advance is not slowed.
"No effect, Sir. They are charging in." The Captain visibly sagged, they could not beat a full strength Chaos marine unit in melee. Private Wilkins suddenly runs up.
"Captain, Vox message - the Champion has asked if you would be interested in facing him in one-on-one combat."
"Sorry, Wilkins - did you say, they sent a Vox message?"
"Yes, sir. The Champion wants to face you alone. He said if not, you should cower at the back of the unit, like the coward you are."
"Well, tell him I will face him at the east end of the units line. Sergeant, good luck."
It's the way my brain sees the new rules. Does anyone else have this problem?
